Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
