Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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