at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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