Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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