its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
