She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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