just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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