I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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