State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
