yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
