Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
