You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize