SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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