I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
