i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
