You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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