i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Houston, we have a squirter
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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