Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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