so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
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I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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