and next time when you feel me up, do it right
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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