dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
