I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
