I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
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IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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