I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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