A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
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