Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
