Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
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