The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
