There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
