it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
is wine microwaveable?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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