so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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