dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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