worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
