why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
