So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
my liver is dry heaving
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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