I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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