respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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