I'm going to jail i love you
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize