I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
