My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
