ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
