I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
