We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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