Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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