Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
