were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
