the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
