Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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