we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize