Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize