I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
