using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
