am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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