The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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