SEEEEXXX PLEASE
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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