How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize