it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
