I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i dont even know how to be here
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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