would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
