small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
