Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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